"GET IN MY BED!"

Moonstruck (1987)

First of all, does anyone remember a movie called Frog? Late 80s, Shelley Duvall, singing frog...I can't help but think of it every time I hear Dean Martin's "That's Amore," this movie's theme song. Just wondering. I can't even really remember what it's about, and it looks like it's hard to find, but I remember I Loved it, and that song, when I was a kid.

Ok. Moonstruck. We unfortunately heard a lot of great things about this one, including the fact that it Won Three Oscars, and that Nicolas Cage has a wooden hand in it. Unfortunately, we were pretty disappointed. Now, I suppose I should start this with a disclaimer and say that I'm a little biased because I'm not really one for romantic comedies. However, that's not to say that I'm completely averse to all cheesey movies. Especially cheesey 80s movies. But this movie piled it on so thick I couldn't just forget myself and have a good time. There were so many self-consciously cutesy one liners and cliches. And Cher? I just don't really get it. She won an Oscar for this? And the chemistry between her and Nicolas Cage was so...awkward. It's not his fault; he's pretty cute in this one...all young, italian, and passionate. But she just never really lets herself go, even when her character is supposedly losing control in their illicit affair. Plus, she looks like a man (tranny). I guess that's not her fault and all, and I probably shouldn't judge her for it, but it's distracting for me.

Anyway, speaking of Nicolas Cage, he and his wooden hand definitely add a much-needed off the wall element to the sickly sweetness of this thing. You can tell from his first appearance, where he screams melodramatically for his employee to "GET THE BIG KNIFE" so he can slit his throat, that at least he will bring some unpredictable humor to the table. He doesn't disappoint; one of the best scenes is when Cher is trying to leave him and he shows that sometimes the best way to a woman's heart is really just a little brute force -- "GET IN MY BED!!!" Yeah! Woman! DO IT!

I thought Olympia Dukakis was good, but Cory thinks that I just have sympathy for her character. Either way, I'd like to watch more movies with her in them. And there's that guy...John Mahoney...who also plays Frasier's dad. He's pretty funny in this too.

Otherwise, whatever, Moonstruck.